Sweet like candy to my soul
Sweet you rock
and sweet you roll
Lost for you I'm so lost for you (crash into me, dave matthews band)

what the freak.

i was 2.5 seconds away from posting this when my computer froze. i am mad. this post isn't going to be as long as the rambling one i just typed out, but you'll get the point.

i was very excited to see brett favre on the cover of this week's sports illustrated. my cover was especially ruined, though. it looked like the mail carrier decided to not cram mail in it (she must have heard my death threats against her the previous weeks...i hate bent pages in my magazines!!!). instead, she probably dropped it in a puddle, and tried to put it through a paper shredder. dumb niners fan. don't get mad at me. :)

i was a little sad today, though. not so much that you should be worried, it was just one of those days where i was sad. not much you can do. this part that i *just* typed out and is now gone forever was a little long, though. i'll spare you all the details. the conversation in my head went mainly like this: "call your man. tell him how you are...that you miss him...have a christmas present for him. "hell no, don't call him. wait for him to call you. don't get him anything for christmas." this went on all day. i always do this, i don't know why. i have to wait for him to call me. he always does, though. i think i'm just a little more stupid today because things are unresolved with us. i want them to be taken care of. but yeah, sad today. just wanting to know how the other really feels, and sad that i'm going through such extreme feelings for him. i get so mad, then so happy that i have someone like him in my life. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. and i feel bad, with so many others who have to worry about where there next meal is coming from, where they're going to find shelter...etc. i am so blessed, i'm not denying that...but i think it's okay to have a bad day.

but tomorrow is my day of fun. i get to visit my granny tomorrow morning for her swim class. should be loads of fun...ladies who are well over 75 who've known me my whole life who love to ask me a million and one questions about my life. i am loved. then, it's over to piedmont to see ROOMIES (kelly and lauren) from the lair. we're baking and catching up with the latest boy stories. then, we head towards the cole's for the lair christmas party. fun times...so many people i haven't seen since camp. :) and that should lead into very late night/early morning girly gossip sessions and fun sleepover/spooning. :) such a day of extremes for me, i feel. icky and unloved today (although i know i'm loved...you know what i mean...just not feeling it from the boy) to happy and overwhelmed with love tomorrow. god bless the lair.

okay kiddies, have a great day tomorrow. drive safe in the rain if you have to, and remember that i love you lots.